Social Skills - So What is Happiness Really?

Happiness is different things to different people and that is why it is so hard to find a real meaning for the word. Happiness is just a word to describe a state of being. A State of being is ephemeral; it is not a physical thing even though you are existing in a physical world. A person has to be a physical person to experience a state of 'being'.

So many things make so many people happy. To experience a state of happiness you must have a sense of being happy. Sounds obvious, but it isn't as obvious as we all take for granted. How many times lately have you asked yourself "am I happy"? Next, consider what made you ask yourself that question and more importantly, what did you answer?

Being happy is so different for everyone. Having more of something does not equate to making a person happier than someone else. Some of the most miserable people I have ever come across have had a lot of everything. Money, food, shelter, friends (real and sycophants) power, education,family and anything else that could possibly make a human being happy.

Some of the happiest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting have been the least likely you would ever expect to show happiness. People who are subsistence dwellers, who grow all their food in their own plots, have absolutely no money, live in makeshift housing, have no education, no likelihood of ever having any of the 'western culture' creature comforts, yet never fail to offer a visitor a glass of water or share whatever food they have available; whether it is a banana or a drink of coconut milk. All these offerings come from their own work, planted and nurtured by themselves and it is offered and given with a happy smile of welcome.

So what makes a wealthy person miserable and a subsistence farmer happy? I have long ago come to the conclusion that the word to describe this state of being is contentment.

The person in our western culture who has everything still wants and lusts after more. They are rarely content with what they have and always want more or better. This constant state of lusting does not allow for any contentment or pleasure in what they have. It is now the driving force behind the world financial system and our consumer based economies.

All these possessions become problems for wealthy people and cause stress. It becomes very stressful for them to find ways of holding onto them. It is stressful in being loaded with so much 'stuff' that after a while it becomes overloading because everything needs to be maintained or cared for in some way. They are always running around the edges of their possessions rather than enjoying or taking pleasure in having them. This does not bring about the state of being we know as contentment.

The person who has little, needs little, makes what they need and can enjoy the fruits of their labour literally, have the time to consider, savour, enjoy, appreciate their success. The fact that they are eating, have a roof over their heads, have friends and family with whom they want to share their good fortune they themselves have made, brings them a great feeling of well-being, satisfaction and engenders in their state of being a feeling of contentment. These seem to be the happiest people on earth that I have yet met.